Loading...Sermon – July 12, 2015
The Rev. Rebecca S. Myers, LSW
The Church of the Nativity and St. Stephen, Newport, PA
Pentecost VII, Proper 10, Track 2
The king was deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he did not want to refuse her. Mark 6:26
Please be seated.
As you can probably guess, I was not the easiest child to raise. I was the oldest of three and the only girl. I was pretty opinionated about how things should be and when life didn’t suit me, I sure let everyone know. I tended to be sent to my room quite a bit, at least when I was young. I had a strong will, but I think I got it honestly from my parents. One of my father’s traits was his stubbornness and I’m sure I got a dose of that. It’s that Central Pennsylvania “Dutch” trait.
To me as a young child, my father appeared to have quite a temper. He got angry and yelled. His expression of anger frightened me. Sometimes I did think his anger was misplaced, but I learned not to challenge him when he was angry. You see, my father never apologized.
One year when I was about 15 or 16, there was an incident, which I cannot even remember now, where my father was very angry with me. I wasn’t very happy either, but didn’t say anything. The next day, my father left a note for me. He apologized! You see, I cannot even remember what had occurred between us that made him so angry (although I have a vague sense it was something about boys and cars), but I have never forgotten that note of apology that my father wrote. I probably still have the letter somewhere. His apology was something very precious to me.
You see, to apologize, my father had to admit he was wrong. To admit he was wrong in terms of our society meant that he might be weak and vulnerable. My father had never apologized nor admitted he was wrong. He was always strong and right.
I can’t imagine what it was that changed him. Maybe it was my mother trying to tell him I was growing up and his anger was unreasonable given my age. Maybe it was discussions my father had with his best friend, who also had children the same age. Maybe it was the cumulative effect of his life experience. Whatever it was, my father had gained, I believe, wisdom. He had changed. He was no longer afraid to live life in a different way.
Most of our Gospel today focuses on the beheading of John the Baptist. There are so many dynamics at work, each with important applications to our lives today. The one I want to focus on, though, is the intransigence of King Herod. That is, King Herod’s inability to be wise and to live in a different way.
First of all, King Herod promised his stepdaughter, Herodias, anything she wanted. We see this over and over again in the Bible…people promising anything, without thinking of the true consequences of what that would mean. In one respect, promising anything, shows a lack of boundaries and a lack of being authentic.
Where do we “promise anything?” I remember an instance in my life when a co-worker was going through a difficult time. One Sunday afternoon she called me up and needed a ride to get some things from an ex-boyfriend. She made it sound so easy and like it wouldn’t take that much time. I knew differently. Giving her that ride meant driving about 60 miles round trip just to get to her PLUS the miles and time to get to where she used to live. In addition, I knew it would take longer than she said. However, I didn’t feel like I could say, “no” and I didn’t know how to put some parameters around her request, like maybe going on a different day or saying I would only be available for a certain number of hours.
It’s best to be clear about what we are willing and able to deliver, rather than promising anything.
Secondly, we need to be willing to change our minds, even if we’ve made a promise or oath. We must be willing to refuse to honor a promise we’ve made when we realize carrying out our promise is unjust and harmful.
Especially in politics, we see attacks on politicians because they’ve changed over time. I’ve always thought this ludicrous. Are any of us the same people we were even three years ago? Hopefully as we have more experiences and live longer, we change. Hopefully as we deepen and grow in our faith, we change. Hopefully we become more fully human.
However, just like the ancients in the courts of King Herod, we are afraid to admit we’ve changed. We are afraid to admit we’ve been wrong. King Herod admired John the Baptist, although he was often perplexed by him. King Herod knew John the Baptist was a righteous man – a man of God. King Herod feared John the Baptist. King Herod protected John the Baptist.
However, to admit to the people at the party that he, King Herod, had been wrong to promise anything to Herodias…to admit that he could not behead John the Baptist… would have gone against the social understanding of King Herod’s, and I’d say our, time. If he went back on a promise, even though he had new information about what that promise entailed, he feared he’d lose power and prestige. And the consequence of this inability to change was horrendous: the unjust and cruel death of a holy and righteous man…a murder on King Herod’s head for the ages.
And so it is when we are afraid to change our minds about something, even when all of the evidence and experience and guidance we have says otherwise.
My father’s change in being able to apologize and to admit he was wrong was so much better for my life. I knew I could admit I was wrong. I knew I could be human, because we all make mistakes. I knew change was important and possible.
May we carefully consider the promises we make to others. May we have wisdom and courage in setting boundaries and being authentic about what we promise. And may we find the wisdom, courage and guidance to change.
Amen
