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Sermon September 4, 2022
The Rev. Rebecca S. Myers, MSW
The Church of the Nativity and St. Stephen’s
13th Sunday after Pentecost, Proper 18, Track 2
https://lectionarypage.net/YearC_RCL/Pentecost/CProp18_RCL.html
Audio: /documents/Eucharist__September_4__2022
Video: https://youtu.be/pUkW1micxn4
‘Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.’ Luke 14:26
Nearly 40 years ago, I was attending Shippensburg University to finish my Bachelor of Social Work degree. In one of my classes, I was introduced to the family therapy work of Virginia Satir. We watched a video of her interacting with a family. I was mesmerized by how she worked with the family and how she thought about families. I eagerly read her first book, written in 1964, titled Conjoint Family Therapy.
Ms. Satir, who is known as the founder of marriage and family therapy, died in 1988. As you can imagine, her thinking about families and even its applications to larger systems, continues to be used. A major understanding of hers was that the so-called presenting problem a family brings to therapy is not usually the real problem.
Maybe a family comes because the mom seems to be the problem. Yet, further probing starts to unravel the roles each individual plays in the family that might make the mom look like the problem, but in reality, the mom’s behavior helps the family to not face the real issue in the family, which could be between the other parent and the child. Helping the family shift how they interact with each other is key in this therapy.
At the same time, if one of the family members changes their behavior, it throws the family off balance. There may be huge pressure for the changed family member to return to their previous behavior. Any change by any family member can be experienced as a threat to the family and how they have operated throughout their lives.
The ensuing chaos and pressure in the family as it chooses whether to change in some way or stay the same is stressful, difficult and even painful. It may mean disconnection or break-up for a time or maybe even a lifetime.
Changes made in relationships have a cost.
Today in our Gospel, Jesus’ words challenge us to be sober in understanding the cost of following him. True discipleship and following of Jesus demands much of us.
In addiction circles, people who are working to recover from their addiction are often asked whether they are willing to go to any lengths to recover. It does not mean they will have to go to those lengths, but they must be willing.
In the same way, Jesus is asking us whether we are willing to go to any lengths to follow him.
Are we willing to give up relationships in our family, which may be prescribed and may have been the way the family survived and operated for years. Those ways may be comfortable for us, even.
In our reading from Romans, the apostle Paul gives us another example of changing our understanding and relationship with someone else. He asks Philemon to freely choose to have a different relationship with Onesimus, that is, to see Onesimus as an equal.
Jesus tells us we may face great discomforts that weigh us down and are like carrying a cross. Are we willing to do so?
And of course the one that always gets us, are we willing to give up all of our possessions?
Recently I’ve been learning about a movement called Effective Altruism. Founded by Toby Ord and Will MacAskill at Oxford University, their definition of effective altruism is “using evidence and reason to figure out how to benefit others as much as possible, and taking action on that basis.” This is from the Centre for Effective Altruism website.
Some in the movement have taken high paying jobs, just so they can give more money away. People who have billions of dollars in wealth are working to give half or more of it away to effective projects and to enhancing more people’s lives now.
There is also a growing trend in the movement to support things now that will lead to long-term survival. This is really nothing new. An ancient guiding principle of the Haudenosaunee people is that “in our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations.”
In our first reading from Deuteronomy today, God speaks these words through Moses:
“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and holding fast to him; for that means life to you and length of days….” Deuteronomy 30:19-20
Jesus is telling us that choosing life is not always easy and may demand much change from us. We may find the price too high and decide not to follow. We do have a choice. We may be asked to be willing to go to any lengths to follow Jesus. We may have to change our relationships with everything in our lives. Yet, in the end, God’s words hold true…we will have chosen life.
Amen
Virginia Satir https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Satir
Article on Effective Altruism: https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2022/8/8/23150496/effective-altruism-sam-bankman-fried-dustin-moskovitz-billionaire-philanthropy-crytocurrency
Centre for Effective Altruism https://www.centreforeffectivealtruism.org/ceas-guiding-principles
7th Generation: https://www.seventhgeneration.com/blog/more-than-a-name
